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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Exquisite Corpse: The Play, Part 3

Exquisite Corpse


Setting: On a boat, three guys fishing.

Characters:
John
Jacob
Schmidt


Schmidt: Did you get a tuna, or what?

Jacob: Err, I don’t know. Maybe it’s a dead body or something. This is a heavy motherfucker.

John: What are you two nut cases doing? Pull it in already.

Jacob: We’re trying man, calm your shit.

Schmidt: What is that awful smell? Oh, Jesus!

John: I wiped!

Schmidt: I uhhm I didn’t.

John: Who denied it supplied it.

Schmidt: Nice to see you can use your brain for more than cocktail recipes and porn storage.

John: On occasion…

Schmidt: On occasion for what?

John: It’s personal.






 Exquisite Corpse


Setting: On a boat, three guys fishing.

Characters:
John
Jacob
Schmidt




Schmidt: Did you get a tuna, or what?

John: I took biology in high school. That was twenty years ago. But, I mean, do tunas have high heels and wear yellow “Live Strong” bracelets?

Jacob: I don’t know man. I saw this tuna on TV once that beat a man to death with a mackerel.

Schmidt: I caught a 47 inch Spanish mackerel while sailing off the coast of key largo in the deep water. I battled that beast for 40 minutes!

John: Hang on, lemme get the number for my doctor, you musta broke something with all that back patting.

Jacob: Just your pride, bitch!

Schmidt: Just my what?

John: Never mind you idiot.

Jacob: Fine. But don’t come crying to me when you need help reeling in the next one.

Schmidt: Next time you’ll be in the water, you asshole.

John: Speaking of that, my therapist says that whenever you think someone is an asshole, it’s really because you’re jealous you don’t possess that very quality that you think makes them an asshole.

Schmidt: Don’t try to compare a rose and a pile of shit.








 Exquisite Corpse


Setting: On a boat, three guys fishing.

Characters:
John
Jacob
Schmidt


Schmidt: Did you get a tuna, or what?

John: Keep reeling, Jacob! Keep Reeling!

Jacob: Fuckin’ A, keep your damn pants on already! (Reels in furiously)

John: Fuck you! Just get the goddamn fish…

Schmidt: Reel the fucker in!

John: I would if you help me. I’m not Superman you know.

Jacob: There is no need to point out the obvious.

John: Oh, I’m sorry Jacob. I didn’t realize that a rotting body was obvious!

Jacob: I have something important, John, to tell you. Regarding that very matter.

John: I don’t even wanna hear it, Jacob. I already know what you’re gonna say.

Jacob: Llama.

John: How’d you know…?


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