Melloh Yelloh, Part 5

Melloh Yelloh

Yay! It’s eight o’clock?!

Trying to get myself ready to go but,

we’re all asleep

from a long night of annotation writing.

Pikachu had to keep me awake

‘cause I was so drunk from all that sake.

I want to get drunk and do karaoke,

but then sober up real quick-like because I’ve got class tomorrow, and I’m responsible;

though that won’t guarantee me showing up with pants on.

Then everyone will see my thong

as I strut down North Ave.

Melloh Yelloh

Yay! It’s eight o’clock!?

I just woke up seven minutes ago;

everyone is busily writing something.

I wish I liked coffee.

Drinking coffee makes me feel grown-up,

it makes me feel so mature.

Janis said one day,

“You and I will be gay,

and by gay I mean really freakin’ cheerful,

and by cheerful, I mean unhealthily chipper.

The kind of chipper that makes you want to curl up and hide.”

Melloh Yelloh

Yay! It's eight o' clock?!

Abby spills her coffee over LL's laptop. Shock!

Oh GOD! It's everywhere, and she doesn't look very happy.

It's like an explosion of disgusting and sticky and delicious

Fluffy goodness in my mouth

So soft and delightful

Like a furry little hen

With dancing shoes on

And a song stuck in my head

Of days gone by, forgotten

And our hands full of tiny llamas

Melloh Yelloh

Yay! It’s eight o’clock!?

Everyone is wide awake,

the sun is rising while I made my way to school

and I felt very fake.

Many write poems about being baked

that’s why they always see Pokemon.

Babies always be cryin’,

damn straight, I ain’t lyin’.

Except I am. I’m sorry,

or am I?

(give Doctor Evil face, pinky to dastardly smile)

Yes!

Melloh Yelloh, Part 4

Melloh Yelloh

Yay! It’s eight o’ clock?!

Intersecting lines divide us not

but still they cut our hands in two

and stapled our earloves to our neck.

They also melted our shoes to our feet,

I have no idea what the above sentence means.

Too bad I can’t help you out

for I feel like there is much I do not know:

like the reason for unicorn’s existence.

I ran to the lake for an evening piss,

I didn’t even see that shark.

Melloh Yelloh

Yay! It’s eight o’clock?!

And the noose is tight.

Another day, another victim.

Ever delay what has already been written;

what has already been bought

was bought by my dead hamster

who apparently had the money to buy it.

He won the lottery last week

and now he’s homeless

because his writing was too much for those to handle.

Gotta catch them all!

Melloh Yelloh

Yay! It’s eight o’clock?!

I finally found my llama;

I left it in the front pouch of my backpack,

it was cold so I put it there to stay warm.

This will not be the most brilliant thing I’ve ever written.

If anyone is brilliant, it’s not me.

“I feel like all my writing is always not up to par,”

is what she said,

“bitches always giving me head!”

I have no idea where they get them from – maybe the morgue?

Yeah, probably the morgue.

Melloh Yelloh, Part 3

Melloh Yelloh

Yay! It’s eight o’clock?

I slump down in my chair,

“Did I remember to comb my hair,

what happened last night?

and where the hell are my pants?

I may have left them in the park by Hobo Jim.

But then again I could just have a terrible memory

of things that should always be forgotten;

and llamas that will never be found. =,(

Cursed be those who hunt llamas!

May those who are cursed be sentenced to hell!

Melloh Yelloh

Yay! It’s eight o’clock?!

Trying to get myself ready to go

for a long day of classes.

A wild Pikachu appears!

Rua, my yellow little friend!

You remind me of a little yellow spaceship,

until I look hard enough, then you’re more of a hue of orange.

Though don’t get me wrong – it’s still an awful colour on you –

it’s as though someone got sick and blew

chocolate gravy all over

Oh shit! I’m allergic to chocolate!

Melloh Yelloh

Yay! It’s eight o’clock?!

What am I doing awake,

should I be somewhere right now?

Heh heh, probably

or maybe not, I don’t know.

Either way, it’s a fucking shame

describes scenes that never come.

Writes her own because the professionals are shit heads;

Literally, they have shit in their heads.

How quaint.

Perhaps they’ll be tomorrow coming.

Melloh Yelloh, Part 2

Melloh Yelloh

Yay! It’s eight o’clock!?

Early morning alarm gives me shock.

In the shower, I think about William Butler Yeats,

but I dare not let anyone know that, because it’s embarrassing.

I’m already blushing, just thinking about it,

just thinking about what I just wrote.

How do I work with this,

maybe I should approach this like I would a rabid dolphin.

You know, stay out of the water and approach with care, and maybe a shotgun,

because if they get to you first, you’re better off dead.

For the zombies will feast and in turn leave you wanting more.

Melloh Yelloh

Yay! It’s eight o’ clock?!

And I’ve already been up for three hours!

How can you sleep when there are so many things to do?

What do I do first?!

I feel so heavy,

maybe it’s because I’m on a planet with 1.8 times the mass of Earth.

Wait, was that a storm trooper?

No, just a kitten. How could I confuse the two?

Easily for a deer is an elephant and an elephant is a dog;

and a llama found

buried treasure.

Melloh Yelloh

Yay! It’s eight o’clock?

It reeks of sewage rot

and skeletal remains of rats cover the ground,

everything is dust and decay and silence.

The corpse, belayed, never passive

her corpse was stuck on an A flat, she didn’t notice.

Like Little Miss Sunshine, they found porn in the trunk,

along with handcuffs and strawberries.

She tripped on the pavement and the strawberries mashed,

she fell on the ground and the cloud berries flashed

now she is covered because she crashed.

Melloh Yellow, Part 1

Melloh Yelloh

Yay! It’s eight o’ clock!?

Time for someone to make a hilarious grand entrance into class

taking time to delay the seriousness that never lasts.

So we find our llamas.

They were waiting for us in the hallways,

because they weren’t invited to the classroom.

They begin a conversation and become good friends

then turn one of them gets punched in the heart;

because they think they know it all,

for example: the purpose of unicorns

is a lighter form of porn.

Melloh Yelloh

Yay! It’s eight o’ clock?!

Which now we are all gathered

around the loading dock.

I find the man, Spock.

“Dear God, Spock,” I say. “What’s with the goatee?”

He replies, “I’m a goat of course.”

Well, he was the most handsome goat I ever did see,

but I usually like sheep.

They put me to sleep in the best way;

a solid thump to the head.

And buried in the New Jersey soil.

Melloh Yelloh

Yay! It’s eight o’clock!?

I can’t wait to get to class

and get some ASS!

Speaking of which, there’s always some downtown,

but I don’t go there anymore because I’ll get mugged and shot

because everyone on the street is both greedy and sadistic;

wrapped in themselves.

I love pigs in a blanket.

Well, maybe just the blankets

on the floor with the vodka,

and happy as ever.

Exquisite Corpses: Introduction

I first learned about Exquisite Corpses in my Introduction to Creative Writing class with Colleen Abel. The idea is to write in a group. Once you have the group you come up with a title and the first line of the Corpse. After that each member of the group writes the next line of the Corpse. They, then, fold the paper over so only the line that they last wrote can be seen and pass it to their neighbor. The neighbor will then add a line to the Corpse, fold the paper so only their line can be seen, and then pass it to their neighbor. This will continue for as long as the group decides to continue.

As you can probably guess, the results can be extremely hilarious or extremely profound or both. What will follow are the first Exquisite Corpses I was ever involved in. I want to reiterate that these are a group effort. And because of that I want to also let you know who was involved. Not all of the people listed below were there the day we composed these Corpses, but because they left an indelible impression on the class, I feel they deserved to be mentioned as well.

Here are the writers of the Exquisite Corpses that will follow: Colleen Abel, Toni Alioto, Abigail Bong, Carol Brandt, Colleen Cavanaugh, Daniel Defenbaugh, Paul Fischer, Lorilei Flores, Gabriel Goodman, Amber Graham, Nathanyel Langreder, Quoc Quan Le, Okikuni Okabe, Matt Roeder, Jake Schultz, Shira Stein, Taylor Wall, Jess Wichman, J Courtney Wilkerson, Amanda Williams, and Mikail Winters.

This first set of Exquisite Corpses went by the title “Melloh Yelloh” and had the first line “Yay! It’s eight o’ clock?!” (although you will see the punctuation possibly change over Corpses). Writing ties people together, and this class is tied together by what we did in this class together and I’m proud to be a part of it.

Stay tuned for the actual Exquisite Corpses!